Five Pale Ales Do Not a Beer Menu Make (or: Hey Tazio, What's in the Beer Meister?)

We've been lookin' at comin' up with a beer menu that isn't overwhelmed with pale ales. (This ain't balmy `ol England: This is America and we're Americans seared in the fires of Exceptionalism! We think we can do a bit better than that.)

So we're searchin' for a beer menu that even the wimpiest women (no offense meant) and stoutest men (again, no offense) could enjoy. With the parameters that there be a maximum of five beers and that all the beers be homebrewed. A menu of beers that a real beer drinker could take with them to a deserted island to live out their days with.

So to those ends we've spent many hours contemplating the problem of constructing this perfect beer menu.

And what a problem to have.

Brewing. Tasting. Tinkering.

Brewing.

Tasting.

Tasting.

Brewing. Tasting.

Let there be no mistake: Considerable thought, energy, and effort has and continues to be expended on this task.

So, as we open the door into the nether reaches of the Beer Meister today (aka the malt vault), we find, a little beauty with nary a fancy name but Espresso Stout.

She is as smooth as 16 shots of 100% Columbian brewed espresso can be--with a middling coffee flavor, hardly any hop aroma and just a wee bit of hop flavor. Slightly creamy, but she's young yet. Even S declared upon sipping (and sipping): “Smooth!”

Pssst: “Wit's up next, Tazio?” In good time all will be revealed.

Best part of every day.™

Tactical Nuclear Penguin -- The Deep Dive

Dog! This is one fine Beer--and that's spelled B-e-e-r with a capital Brew Dog and don't let the 32% bite fool you.

And it really is a stout--just not the weenie-dog 3% kind you're used to. (Not mentioning any names. You know who you are.)

But it's a sipp'n beer--enjoy it by the thimble.

Opened this bottle on Mother's Day with J, J-prime, UJ, D and myself. It was served at about 58 degrees.

Batch 002 -- Best before December 25, 2019. You like that? I do.




Pours an amber color--a bit like Glenmorangie. And with a head so thin you could, well, almost, think it's Glenmorangie.

A profligate aroma of alcohol on the nose--not a Rauch Bock blast across the bow mind you, but a sniff nonetheless to let you know there's serious business at hand.

All hop aroma has been banished to Siberia.

A wee-bit less alcohol lapping on the tongue--but not much. Tastes of tobacco, oak, caramel, molasses, roasted grain. A bit strong in the finish--not for the faint of heart.

S tried a sip and made a face--everyone else enjoyed the hell out of it--I enjoyed three shots, easily putting me over the limit to take to the streets.

BrewDog's Tactical Nuclear Penguin--World's Strongest Beer. Ever

Read about it and see what it took these guys to make this beast here.

Style: Uber-Imperial Stout
ABV: 32%
OG: 1092
Malts: Marris Otter, Dark Crystal, Caramalt, Chocolate Malt, Roast Barley
Hops: Galena, Bramling Cross

I just had to order two bottles. One to try now and one for my FMP day.

My Top 20 Albums of the Decade

As I sit here watching the snow fly and sipping on a Zonker Stout from Snake River Brewing out of Jackson Hole Wyoming, I initially thought I'd have a hard time coming up with 20 really good albums spanning the first decade of the new century.

But it really wasn't that hard. These came to me pretty quick.

The three at the top are very close in my mind, but I have to put Wilco's YHF first due the band's ability to meld so many styles, along with great songwriting, into a unique sound. U2's All that ... while a great album, seemed to me covering familiar ground--another Joshua Tree. Killing Joke: What can I say? They continually find ways to stay fresh and relevant in a post-punk, post hardcore, post industrial-punk way.

1) Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
2) U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
3) Killing Joke - 2003
4) Foo Fighters - One by One
5) Zwan - Mary Star of the Sea
6) Milemarker - Anesthetic
7) System of A Down - Toxicity
8) Bad Astronaut - Houston We Have a Drinking Problem
9) Dave Gahan - Paper Monsters
10) Zero 7 - Simple Things
11) Trey Anastasio - Shine
12) Dream Theater - Train of Thought
13) Elvis Costello - When I Was Cruel
14) Phish - Undermind
15) Beastie Boys - To The 5 Boroughs
16) Radiohead - Kid A
17) Depeche Mode - Exciter
18) Audioslave - Audioslave
19) White Stripes - Elephant
20) The Libertines - Up the Bracket
21) Hot Hot Heat - Make Up the Breakdown

Honorable mention goes to the boys from Manchester: Oasis and Heathen Chemistry. I sometimes wonder how it is that an artist can go on from great heights early achieved. Robert Plant found a way. Orson Welles never did. Oasis found a way with this album that was commendable coming off their early mega-popularity.